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Sonoran Desert Sunset

Quotation MarksFor those of you who live in the Sonoran Desert, you will know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you who have never been there, consider this an online road trip. Feel free to add your own Sonoran Desert observations, or even start a new list for a different area.

You may live in the Sonoran Desert if:

  • You know what a swamp cooler is and how to use it.
  • You complain about how muggy it is when it reaches 15% humidity outside.
  • You assume “dress code” means you wear sandals instead of flip flops, and nice shorts instead of cutoffs.
  • You recognize stucco blown over chicken wire as an acceptable house exterior.
  • You rave to your friends about how mild the summer is when the temperature is less than 105°.
  • You think there is nothing odd about all the riverbeds being dry.
  • You have eye-witness evidence that spiders grow to the size of field mice
  • You become excited when the predicted chance of rain reaches 20%.
  • You will wait ten minutes for a parking spot a half mile from the store because it offers six inches of shade from two palm fronds.
  • You expect outdoor plants to die back in the summer rather than winter.
  • You have ever sustained third-degree burns from vinyl car seats.
  • The debate over recharging CAP water seems relevant and contentious.
  • You have no idea what a sump pump is, or why anyone would want to pump water out of their house.
  • You suppose snow tires means that the snow is exhausted and needs a trip to the spa to rest.
  • The term “wash” has nothing to do with bath tubs, laundry or dirty dishes.
  • You fret that some day you may be charged under the Stupid Motorist Law.
  • You consider it blasé for rain to fall on one side of your house, but not the other.
  • You know that deserts can have flash floods and monsoons.
  • You achieve bi-lingual status just from reading road signs.
  • In P.E. you learned to do fifty sit-ups in less than thirty seconds to prevent a trip to the emergency room.
  • You presume every homeowner routinely slathers white rubber paint on their roof.
  • You are terrified that you will kick to death the next person who says, “But it’s a dry heat.”
  • Finding a rattlesnake in your yard, or a lizard in your pool, is not a strange occurrence.
  • You are convinced that “monsters” really exist and they are poisonous.
  • You are no longer astonished to see rain fall from a perfectly sunny sky.
  • You take it for granted that everyone has gravel, not grass, in their front yard.
  • You consider October to be the proper time to plant vegetable seedlings.
  • You can say haboob without laughing, and you may even know it is dangerous.
  • You believe snow is something you see in little globes with picturesque sceneries, not on the ground.
  • You have heard rumors of basements in the Northeast, but cannot comprehend how they blasted through all that caliche.
  • There is nothing exotic about having cacti in your yard.
  • You, like everyone else, cavort outside like the western barking frog to frolic in the monsoon rain.
  • Dust storms and dust devils are a way of life.
  • You worry about heatstroke, and suspect a parka may be a Latino garage.
  • You realize Cañada has nothing whatsoever to do with a similarly-named North American country.
  • You look forward to winter when the birding season really takes off, although “snow birds” are not all that popular in your region.
  • In the summer, drying laundry on a clothesline can take as long as 10 seconds.
  • You have ever seen rain fall from the sky but not hit the ground.
  • You toy with the idea that maybe weeds can be used as an ornamental plant, or that if you squint your eyes, and look at it just so, Astroturf might look like a lawn. After all, it’s nice to have something green in the yard—anything green.
  • Dressing for Christmas often involves shorts and flip flops.
  • Seeing ten mosquitoes in three months is considered a bad skeeter season.
  • Tires exploding on the highway is something you prepare yourself for each summer.
  • Perfectly healthy trees can have green bark and virtually no leaves.
  • You have heard the urban legend that iron rusts, but it seems about as real to you as the jackalope.
  • Attempting to fry eggs on the sidewalk is a typical escapade for bored kids during summer vacation.
  • It is impossible to find your white car in a mall parking lot.

Does it sound like an alien planet, or a great place to visit? You decide.

—AdL

Written on May 26th, 2009 , Just for Fun

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COMMENTS
  1. Craig commented

    You go outdoors when is rains and indoors when the sun comes out.

    April 12, 2010 at 11:59 AM
    • AdL commented

      Amen, Craig! :-)

      April 14, 2010 at 9:35 AM
  2. Air Jordan commented

    I am only shocked to know how much of resources I received on this specific topic. I’m so particularly thankful of you. The one thing I can point out that, after reading this post I acquired rescued from the total useless search I ought to have done on this problem. Your post is a authentic good thing in disguise.

    June 2, 2010 at 6:26 PM
    • AdL commented

      Air Jordan,

      I am thrilled to be of service! ;-)

      AdL

      June 2, 2010 at 6:41 PM
  3. We see a excellent improvement inside your composing, I’d like to obtain in touch. Keep up the excellent function! Your own writing is extremely motivational for somebody which is new to this kind of stuff.

    August 14, 2010 at 7:04 PM
    • AdL commented

      I am so pleased you enjoyed it.

      August 16, 2010 at 2:33 PM
  4. I had issue accessing this blog with my safari on iphone, whats the cause?

    August 16, 2010 at 11:23 AM
    • AdL commented

      I am not certain what caused your issue, but I will research it and attempt to resolve it. Thanks for reading my blog, and do have a lovely day!

      August 16, 2010 at 2:31 PM
    • Brandi commented

      Thanks for sarhnig. Always good to find a real expert.

      May 5, 2013 at 6:34 AM
  5. Jonah Cua commented

    That’s Too nice, when it comes in india hope it can make a Rocking place for youngster.. hope that
    come true.

    January 3, 2011 at 11:24 AM
  6. [...] the mall; it is the only one in the shade. You understand if you live in the Sonoran Desert. (See JUST FOR FUN: You May Live in the Sonoran Desert If… to learn more.) Once [...]

    October 5, 2011 at 12:03 AM
  7. Rosalin commented

    I just wanted to jot down a small word to be able to aptrceiape you for the pleasant tips and hints you are giving out here. My prolonged internet investigation has finally been recognized with wonderful content to exchange with my two friends. I would state that that most of us website visitors are definitely lucky to live in a great place with very many wonderful individuals with very helpful tactics. I feel somewhat lucky to have discovered your entire web pages and look forward to tons of more excellent minutes reading here. Thanks a lot again for all the details.

    May 5, 2013 at 1:59 AM
    • AdL commented

      You are so very welcome, and I appreciate you taking time to tell me! :-)

      July 28, 2014 at 3:28 PM

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